No one has corrected them since they were children, and now most of what they think they know is wrong. Whenever their parents tried to correct them on something, they told them to shut the hell up. The person who didn’t understand what they were ordering and wrote a blatantly negative review because of it It's been mildly successful, but he knows there are better tacos down the street. His stepdad threw him a few bucks to rent out a space in a crappy part of town. ![]() The guy who owns a taco shop and talks shit about all the other taco shops ![]() They are not fun to be around in small groups. They'll only go to see movies with a 99% Rotten Tomatoes Certified Fresh rating. They are unmarried because they feel they haven't met "The One" yet. They start all their reviews with, "This could’ve been a 5-star review, but.”. And their best friend in middle school went to Club Med in Phuket, so they know what they're talking about. But hey, they did see that one Bangkok episode of No Reservations. The authenticity police for ethnic restaurantsįor someone who has never been to Thailand and is definitely not Thai, they sure do have opinions on what constitutes authentic cuisine. They realize they're working for free for a company worth about $5 billion, right? But they do get to go to some sweet free parties! What became of you, man who was disappointed Chipotle was out of guac that one night in the summer of 2005? He probably uses Foursquare now. The guy who left a single review of a restaurant years ago, and never posted again ![]() But things got stale, like those chocolate chip cookies she made that her hubby still hasn't tried. Her "hubby" is projecting his dislike of her onto the "undercooked" filet mignon. This is like saying you "went to Yale" because you drove through New Haven once and saw the long line outside of Toad's Place during a Buju Banton concert. They gave a one-star review to a bar because it had a long wait and they never made it in. The person who prefaces every review with “I usually never write reviews but.” He was a dick to his parents for weeks after that. Still, his parents were nice enough to buy him something, and he didn't want to hurt their feelings, so he fitfully played with the Hot Wheels for a second until it sunk in that he was never going to get what he wanted. He was 10 and got Hot Wheels for his birthday, but he really wanted Nickelodeon GAK. The person who starts every review with “I really want to like this place but.” Next time, their review should include the part where they snapped to get a server's attention. They don't realize that when you treat the waitstaff like sh*t, they might treat you like garbage in return. The last person on Earth who does not have spell-check or auto-correct It's better than the other time she found a job on Craigslist, where some creepy dude paid her $50 to watch her eat a bowl of soup. She replied to a Craigslist ad to write positive reviews of real restaurants she's never been to. New Yorkers know everything, and they'll be the first to tell you that over and over and over and over again. The New Yorkers who wrote these horrible reviews of amazing bars and restaurants But whatever, give that restaurant one star because the food took longer than you expected! They deserve it! It takes at least a month or two for the food and service to click. Restaurants are like people, they don't come into the world fully formed. But hey, at least on Fridays she gets to leave work early and go drinking. She doesn't make much money because it's a free app and there's no revenue stream, so she's basically working on the hope that Google will buy them eventually. She went with a group of co-workers from her start-up. The happy hour reviewer who shockingly only wrote about the half-priced tacos Their neighbors, who have been living in the neighborhood for 30 years, hate them. Somehow they've made an entire restaurant's review about how hipsters are invading "their" neighborhood, despite having only moved there after college, which was about three years ago. It's like negatively reviewing McDonald's because they don't serve Frosties. ![]() The dude who can't find anything he wants to eat or drink
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